I woke up at 5:30 or so this morning and tried to head off some vomiting by getting up and making myself some cream of wheat but I ended up throwing up at about 7:00 anyhow. I thought I was going to be fine but wow I really was not. I also had the runs again. I took the anti-nausea pills and slept all day...
Captain Obvious went to California (for work) so that left my Mom taking care of Captain Adorable all day by herself. I know she enjoys being with her grandson and she is here to help us out, but I feel bad putting so much on her all the time. Last round of chemo I was much stronger by this time and able to care more for myself and for my baby. This time I am just a big old lump of napping.
I'd really like to be strong enough to take my golly dern holiday cards to the post office. Would be nice to send them after doing all that work getting the pics, addresses, putting them all together, and signing them all. I guess many other people know exactly what I am talking about.
Sunday, December 9, 2007
Saturday, December 8, 2007
Sick From Chemo
I had chemotherapy again on Friday (Gemcitibine) and I've been feeling bad ever since. I guess that seems pretty normal, but I feel much worse than last time I had just this drug. I had my arm looked at but it did not hurt at the time, and although it does hurt a bit now and then, it is nothing like it was those first couple days.
I did not have a good day at all. I got really upset, despite having taken the anti-anxiety drug and I cried while waiting for the IV. So good to have my husband there to hug and console me. Then I threw up while getting the chemo, so that was horrible. Fortunately I was in the bathroom when it happened. Then I had to wait forever for lunch--my sweet MIL brought lunch from Whole Foods for us and there was some traffic, so we did not eat till 12:30 (which was late for me, especially since my stomach was empty from vomiting before). Fortunately when she did get there it was almost time for me to leave, so we could eat and run. Nice to be able to have the ride home with a full stomach.
Once home I felt good enough not to nap during the afternoon while my baby was napping, but in the evening I felt like crap and deeply regretted not having napped earlier. I snapped at my Mom a few times and generally was not in a good mood. Thank goodness she had the grace to put up with me without a complaint. Captain Obvious had to go to work after he brought me home from the hospital, and he did not get home till after 8:00, so I put Captain Adorable to bed. I was very happy that it went well and easily. I really think that the bath time/bed time routine is a good one and I am glad we made the transition from showers in the morning to bath time at night. Anyhow, he went to sleep in like 20 minutes or something after his bath, so I am confident that I will be able to put him to bed while Captain Obvious is in California (he leaves tomorrow and returns in 3 days, on Wednesday).
I slept on the futon to make sure I got a whole night's sleep, but as it turned out, it was good I slept there since I would have disturbed the sleep of the captains if I had been in the family bed. I woke up at 4:00am and despite taking an anti-nausea pill, threw up at about 4:30. I tried to recover and go back to sleep, and even tried to take another pill later, but I ended up throwing up again at 5:30. After that I went downstairs and extremely quietly prepared myself some breakfast (cream of wheat) so that I'd have something in my belly and hopefully not throw up again. I also had some rose hip and hibiscus tea. I stayed up till the rest of the family got up, at about 6:45 or so. Both my husband and my Mom claimed to have been awake the whole time too (not sure I believe this, but whatever).
Anyhow, after that I decided that since I felt like crap and still a but pukey, I would go back to bed with an anti-nausea suppository. That helped a lot (no more vomit) but also knocked me out for the day, essentially. I come downstairs for an hour or so at a time, but I always end up back in bed napping. I had a bloody nose when I blew it earlier this evening. I just feel so tired and sick.
Captain Adorable is walking on his own so much that we all agree that we can officially say he is walking now, so this is the big announcement on the blog! He is so deliciously cute when he takes those little steps from one place to another. I tried to get it on video this evening, but my guess is that it is not as good on video as it is in real life. :)
I did not have a good day at all. I got really upset, despite having taken the anti-anxiety drug and I cried while waiting for the IV. So good to have my husband there to hug and console me. Then I threw up while getting the chemo, so that was horrible. Fortunately I was in the bathroom when it happened. Then I had to wait forever for lunch--my sweet MIL brought lunch from Whole Foods for us and there was some traffic, so we did not eat till 12:30 (which was late for me, especially since my stomach was empty from vomiting before). Fortunately when she did get there it was almost time for me to leave, so we could eat and run. Nice to be able to have the ride home with a full stomach.
Once home I felt good enough not to nap during the afternoon while my baby was napping, but in the evening I felt like crap and deeply regretted not having napped earlier. I snapped at my Mom a few times and generally was not in a good mood. Thank goodness she had the grace to put up with me without a complaint. Captain Obvious had to go to work after he brought me home from the hospital, and he did not get home till after 8:00, so I put Captain Adorable to bed. I was very happy that it went well and easily. I really think that the bath time/bed time routine is a good one and I am glad we made the transition from showers in the morning to bath time at night. Anyhow, he went to sleep in like 20 minutes or something after his bath, so I am confident that I will be able to put him to bed while Captain Obvious is in California (he leaves tomorrow and returns in 3 days, on Wednesday).
I slept on the futon to make sure I got a whole night's sleep, but as it turned out, it was good I slept there since I would have disturbed the sleep of the captains if I had been in the family bed. I woke up at 4:00am and despite taking an anti-nausea pill, threw up at about 4:30. I tried to recover and go back to sleep, and even tried to take another pill later, but I ended up throwing up again at 5:30. After that I went downstairs and extremely quietly prepared myself some breakfast (cream of wheat) so that I'd have something in my belly and hopefully not throw up again. I also had some rose hip and hibiscus tea. I stayed up till the rest of the family got up, at about 6:45 or so. Both my husband and my Mom claimed to have been awake the whole time too (not sure I believe this, but whatever).
Anyhow, after that I decided that since I felt like crap and still a but pukey, I would go back to bed with an anti-nausea suppository. That helped a lot (no more vomit) but also knocked me out for the day, essentially. I come downstairs for an hour or so at a time, but I always end up back in bed napping. I had a bloody nose when I blew it earlier this evening. I just feel so tired and sick.
Captain Adorable is walking on his own so much that we all agree that we can officially say he is walking now, so this is the big announcement on the blog! He is so deliciously cute when he takes those little steps from one place to another. I tried to get it on video this evening, but my guess is that it is not as good on video as it is in real life. :)
Thursday, December 6, 2007
Nice Visit
My sweet MIL came to see us today and she brought a new toy for Captain Adorable (big plastic beads). He loved the toy and obliged her by showing off his walking and standing skills.
I slept a lot again today. I feel weak and tired. I like the fact that the half dose of steroids makes me more able to be around most days, but the other effect is that here we are, on Day 7 and I am still extra tired. Then again, maybe it is because this is my second round and it is more difficult for my body to recover this time...I do not know.
The vein in my left arm where I got the chemo last time hurts and has actually been swollen today. Hurting all day. Unpleasant and weird, huh?
Tomorrow is chemo day again. Not looking forward to it. Ugh.
I slept a lot again today. I feel weak and tired. I like the fact that the half dose of steroids makes me more able to be around most days, but the other effect is that here we are, on Day 7 and I am still extra tired. Then again, maybe it is because this is my second round and it is more difficult for my body to recover this time...I do not know.
The vein in my left arm where I got the chemo last time hurts and has actually been swollen today. Hurting all day. Unpleasant and weird, huh?
Tomorrow is chemo day again. Not looking forward to it. Ugh.
Wednesday, December 5, 2007
Snow All Day
It was snowing when I woke up this morning. It is still snowing now. Mom and Captain Adorable and I took a little walk in the snow this afternoon and he loved it! Smiled the whole time! I hope the weather is ok tomorrow because my sweet MIL is supposed to come over and I don't want her to run into bad driving conditions.
The babe did not have a good night last night, poor thing (and poor Captain Obvious!). I got up to use the bathroom at about midnight and when I got back to bed, the babe was sitting up. I tried to put him back to sleep, but he got his hand in my shirt and started to cry and feel around. I think he was missing nursing back to sleep. Then we began a long running trade off between Captain Obvious and I, each trying to put the babe back to sleep, but he kept picking up his little head. Finally I left the bed and went to my futon in the sewing room. Captain Obvious said that the babe woke up several other times during the night...he did sleep until 7:00 this morning. I hope he sleeps better tonight so that they both get a good night's sleep.
We had a good dinner: Mom made this delicious butternut squash soup that everyone loved. Yum yum yum! How wonderful hot creamy soup is on a cold snowy evening.
The babe did not have a good night last night, poor thing (and poor Captain Obvious!). I got up to use the bathroom at about midnight and when I got back to bed, the babe was sitting up. I tried to put him back to sleep, but he got his hand in my shirt and started to cry and feel around. I think he was missing nursing back to sleep. Then we began a long running trade off between Captain Obvious and I, each trying to put the babe back to sleep, but he kept picking up his little head. Finally I left the bed and went to my futon in the sewing room. Captain Obvious said that the babe woke up several other times during the night...he did sleep until 7:00 this morning. I hope he sleeps better tonight so that they both get a good night's sleep.
We had a good dinner: Mom made this delicious butternut squash soup that everyone loved. Yum yum yum! How wonderful hot creamy soup is on a cold snowy evening.
Tuesday, December 4, 2007
Day Five and Still Tired
I am getting better, but still pretty tired. I did have a 3 hour nap this morning, but have not slept since then. I am ready to go to bed but I have to wait until the babe goes to bed if I want to sleep in the family bed.
I got to have Captain Adorable sleep on my in the chair this afternoon, so that was lovely. I really love to have close physical contact with my baby, even though we no longer nurse, it feels good to snuggle together.
Captain Obvious seems kind of pissed off lately and I don't really know why. He says he is very tired and I believe him. Unfortunately, I am very tired, too. Difficult to deal with his needs when I am so weak and vulnerable right now. I can really only deal with my own needs and most of the time I have to let my mother take care of my baby and me...I don't have much to take care of my husband, too.
I got to have Captain Adorable sleep on my in the chair this afternoon, so that was lovely. I really love to have close physical contact with my baby, even though we no longer nurse, it feels good to snuggle together.
Captain Obvious seems kind of pissed off lately and I don't really know why. He says he is very tired and I believe him. Unfortunately, I am very tired, too. Difficult to deal with his needs when I am so weak and vulnerable right now. I can really only deal with my own needs and most of the time I have to let my mother take care of my baby and me...I don't have much to take care of my husband, too.
Monday, December 3, 2007
Still Tired
Day Four (Day One is the day I get Cisplatin and Gemcitibine) is the worst one for me--last time and this time. I have had 2 three hour naps and I am still tired. I think I am going to have to go to bed before the baby tonight...
Last night I felt extra terrible. Filled with too much water and very uncomfortable--pain in my legs and uncomfortable ear and a belly full of burps. Couldn't get comfortable in bed with the captains, so I had to sleep in the sewing room. I got up about 800 times to pee. (I drank 80+ ounces of water yesterday!) Still, I am stopped up in the bowel movement department, just like last time, despite my taking stool softeners this time...I really hope I do not have to go through the same pain as I did last time...
Ugh. I feel bad.
Updated to add: seems that the stool softeners worked just fine and everything is moving along well. Thank goodness.
Last night I felt extra terrible. Filled with too much water and very uncomfortable--pain in my legs and uncomfortable ear and a belly full of burps. Couldn't get comfortable in bed with the captains, so I had to sleep in the sewing room. I got up about 800 times to pee. (I drank 80+ ounces of water yesterday!) Still, I am stopped up in the bowel movement department, just like last time, despite my taking stool softeners this time...I really hope I do not have to go through the same pain as I did last time...
Ugh. I feel bad.
Updated to add: seems that the stool softeners worked just fine and everything is moving along well. Thank goodness.
Sunday, December 2, 2007
Sleeping Sleeping and More Sleeping
Well, the reduction in the steroids has made me more awake, but I am still sleeping a whole lot. I think I've had three naps today so far and I went to bed at 8:30 last night. I am also still a bit weak and not really interested in food. Captain Obvious is out right now getting some brie. (He just got back with brie and havarti.) I guess it is to tempt me to eat but for his own taste pleasure as well.
My Mom is wearing Captain Adorable in the Ergo on her back while she walking up and down reading Ender's Game (she'd never read it before). He's happy as a clam, but a bit of a loud clam since he keeps dropping the toys she hands him, so she's taking him downstairs so he can look at stuff he has not seen for a while. Now he's back to being a happy and quiet clam.
The night that Captain Obvious was away at his grandmother's funeral was the same night that of the day I got (the first administration of) my second round of chemo. It would not be good for me to sleep with the babe all drugged up and heavily sleeping like that, so of course my Mom slept with him, as we had planned. It went very well, for Captain Adorable at least, who did not wake up once during the night and slept till 6:30. She did not get much sleep because I guess he moves around a lot (I don't really notice anymore) and of course our bed is too soft for her...oh well, she still said it was an honor for her to sleep with him even though she wouldn't want to do it every night. However, without someone in the bed with him, I do not think he would sleep, so I am really thankful that she was willing to give it a shot and that it went so well. The next night I was back in bed and so was Captain Obvious, so back to normal. Captain Adorable slept with me for a nap today, too. When I woke up, he was lying next to me with his eyes open and a smile on his face. I love having my cuddle little one in bed with me!
My Mom is wearing Captain Adorable in the Ergo on her back while she walking up and down reading Ender's Game (she'd never read it before). He's happy as a clam, but a bit of a loud clam since he keeps dropping the toys she hands him, so she's taking him downstairs so he can look at stuff he has not seen for a while. Now he's back to being a happy and quiet clam.
The night that Captain Obvious was away at his grandmother's funeral was the same night that of the day I got (the first administration of) my second round of chemo. It would not be good for me to sleep with the babe all drugged up and heavily sleeping like that, so of course my Mom slept with him, as we had planned. It went very well, for Captain Adorable at least, who did not wake up once during the night and slept till 6:30. She did not get much sleep because I guess he moves around a lot (I don't really notice anymore) and of course our bed is too soft for her...oh well, she still said it was an honor for her to sleep with him even though she wouldn't want to do it every night. However, without someone in the bed with him, I do not think he would sleep, so I am really thankful that she was willing to give it a shot and that it went so well. The next night I was back in bed and so was Captain Obvious, so back to normal. Captain Adorable slept with me for a nap today, too. When I woke up, he was lying next to me with his eyes open and a smile on his face. I love having my cuddle little one in bed with me!
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