Saturday, February 27, 2010
Humble Thanks
Captain Obvious have been out together for the past two nights. My mom is here and she has been staying with Captain Adorable. We've talked a lot about the way that cancer has or has not affected me/us. We've talked a lot about how much help we have gotten during this last 2.5 years. As Captain Obvious said, "we could have gotten by with less help than we got, and we could have done better with more help than we got, but overall we got a lot of help." So many people have helped us in big and small ways. We are so grateful for the help you have given us. We think about the help you have given us (even small help, like the tech who recognises me at the CT scan place at JHH and a little exchange of words with her can take my mind away from the fear and stress of the tests...) often. Of course I cannot begin to talk about the contributions of parents and grandparents... Both of us are amazed and astounded by this journey and this love. I send you all my humble thanks.
Saturday, February 20, 2010
New Mobile Phone
Don't know if I mentioned this, but my sweet husband bought me a new mobile phone. I am once again phony. Haha. Gimme a ring--it is still the same number.
Too Much TV
Lately (for the past 2-3 days) I've been allowing Capt. Adorable to watch waaaay more tv than usual.
I have several excuses:
1) We've just discovered Bob the Builder, which is a darling show with kind people who are polite and espouse eco-friendly concepts. And drive trucks and fork lifts and cranes and front loaders all over the place all the time...
2) We've just discovered that Pingu is on the instant play on Netflix. Another sweet, funny,show with short episodes and delightful characters. Pingu concentrates on the value of family.
3) Watching tv is one of the few ways to keep Captain Adorable out of the "work site" (as we've been calling the family room during the cosmetic renovations) when Daddy is actively sanding or painting. (We don't want him to inhale that stuff!)
4) It is cold and snowy outside; not so easy to take our usual walk down to the water or spend a few minutes blowing off steam at the platground.
But the real reason is:
5) I spend too much time on my computer.
I have lots of explanations for that. Whenever I am on chemo I get lots of time to myself and I tend to spend lots of time online for entertainment. I've just had surgery and I am still recovering. I am in the phase right now when I've started weaning myself off the computer but have not really done it yet. I no longer check the computer first thing in the morning, nor do I carry it from room to room anymore. However, in the afternoon, when I am tired and a bit overwhelmed (Captain Obvious was sweet enough to let me have a nap this afternoon!) I let Capt. Adorable watch another one and another one and another one because I want to play on the computer. Then I look up and it is 3 hours later and I am very disappointed in myself. Also, the longer I let him watch, the harder it is to tear him away. We both lose when I go overboard with the tv.
Today we went sledding, moved around the furniture in the playroom, built a block castle and a block car ramp, made lunch, and for the rest he spent hi time playing in the work site while Daddy worked and watching tv. I've got to step up and do a better job.
We need more kids to play with. Having other people around helps us both. (And, yes, Leia, I did copy your post title. Imitation is the sincerest form of flattery.)
I have several excuses:
1) We've just discovered Bob the Builder, which is a darling show with kind people who are polite and espouse eco-friendly concepts. And drive trucks and fork lifts and cranes and front loaders all over the place all the time...
2) We've just discovered that Pingu is on the instant play on Netflix. Another sweet, funny,show with short episodes and delightful characters. Pingu concentrates on the value of family.
3) Watching tv is one of the few ways to keep Captain Adorable out of the "work site" (as we've been calling the family room during the cosmetic renovations) when Daddy is actively sanding or painting. (We don't want him to inhale that stuff!)
4) It is cold and snowy outside; not so easy to take our usual walk down to the water or spend a few minutes blowing off steam at the platground.
But the real reason is:
5) I spend too much time on my computer.
I have lots of explanations for that. Whenever I am on chemo I get lots of time to myself and I tend to spend lots of time online for entertainment. I've just had surgery and I am still recovering. I am in the phase right now when I've started weaning myself off the computer but have not really done it yet. I no longer check the computer first thing in the morning, nor do I carry it from room to room anymore. However, in the afternoon, when I am tired and a bit overwhelmed (Captain Obvious was sweet enough to let me have a nap this afternoon!) I let Capt. Adorable watch another one and another one and another one because I want to play on the computer. Then I look up and it is 3 hours later and I am very disappointed in myself. Also, the longer I let him watch, the harder it is to tear him away. We both lose when I go overboard with the tv.
Today we went sledding, moved around the furniture in the playroom, built a block castle and a block car ramp, made lunch, and for the rest he spent hi time playing in the work site while Daddy worked and watching tv. I've got to step up and do a better job.
We need more kids to play with. Having other people around helps us both. (And, yes, Leia, I did copy your post title. Imitation is the sincerest form of flattery.)
Friday, February 19, 2010
3 Times In 2 Days
I realised that I've been doing a lot of baking and cooking lately. I like to cook in general, but lately I've begun baking more. Yesterday I baked a bread, which I do often. In fact, I bake all of our bread now. This way I know exactly what is in it, plus it a lot cheaper than buying a similar bread in the store. I have posted about this before, but just in case you are interested, I use the recipe for No-Knead Dutch Oven Bread published by Mother Earth News. I've linked to the second page of the article here, but if you are interested in baking and you are not already a baker, read the article for lots of extra info. I think it is perfect for morning toast, lunch sandwiches, hummus dipping, brie spreading, soup soaking, and all the rest.
Today I baked chocolate chip cookies from a recipe in the America's Test Kitchen Family Cookbook. Captain Adorable helped me and they were supposed to be a treat for both him and Captain Obvious, who has been diligently working on the family room (just tonight he painted the mantle white, then had to sand it down again because there was still lacquer preventing the paint from sticking in a few spots and repaint!). They are pretty good, fabulous chewy texture, but...I don't know, maybe they need some nuts? Or the fact that the chocolate chips are weirdly flat (Ghiradelli) affects them or something...
Tonight I made soup beans and corn bread and steamed broccoli for dinner. Had planned to go out to dinner with a friend, but she had to cancel on me at the last minute because of an emergency at her house. :( So, I wanted to come up with something yummy to go with the beans I made yesterday. Did I tell you that my New Year's Resolution was not to buy canned beans anymore? Two reasons: better taste and to avoid the BPA plastic used to line the cans. Anyhow, we don't eat beans that often, but during recovery from surgery I did buy canned a few times. But with coaching by NonFiction over the phone, I pulled it off and the beans are fab and I made enough to freeze for quick dinners in the future.
So, the corn bread was good (hearty yet light! much more Northern than Southern) and used some of the lovely grass-fed organic buttermilk we had in the fridge. Except that the medium-grind on the corn meal was a bit intense for my big Captain. Next time I will have to buy finely-ground corn meal. It was lovely to put those yellowy squares steaming into shallow blue bowls with beautiful soup pinto beans...mmmmm...gorgeous green broccoli on the side...
So, back to the point. I baked 3 times in 2 days. I think I get some type of prize for that--perhaps a gold star?
Future plans include baking my own pitas and focaccia...will keep ya posted, as per usual.
Today I baked chocolate chip cookies from a recipe in the America's Test Kitchen Family Cookbook. Captain Adorable helped me and they were supposed to be a treat for both him and Captain Obvious, who has been diligently working on the family room (just tonight he painted the mantle white, then had to sand it down again because there was still lacquer preventing the paint from sticking in a few spots and repaint!). They are pretty good, fabulous chewy texture, but...I don't know, maybe they need some nuts? Or the fact that the chocolate chips are weirdly flat (Ghiradelli) affects them or something...
Tonight I made soup beans and corn bread and steamed broccoli for dinner. Had planned to go out to dinner with a friend, but she had to cancel on me at the last minute because of an emergency at her house. :( So, I wanted to come up with something yummy to go with the beans I made yesterday. Did I tell you that my New Year's Resolution was not to buy canned beans anymore? Two reasons: better taste and to avoid the BPA plastic used to line the cans. Anyhow, we don't eat beans that often, but during recovery from surgery I did buy canned a few times. But with coaching by NonFiction over the phone, I pulled it off and the beans are fab and I made enough to freeze for quick dinners in the future.
So, the corn bread was good (hearty yet light! much more Northern than Southern) and used some of the lovely grass-fed organic buttermilk we had in the fridge. Except that the medium-grind on the corn meal was a bit intense for my big Captain. Next time I will have to buy finely-ground corn meal. It was lovely to put those yellowy squares steaming into shallow blue bowls with beautiful soup pinto beans...mmmmm...gorgeous green broccoli on the side...
So, back to the point. I baked 3 times in 2 days. I think I get some type of prize for that--perhaps a gold star?
Future plans include baking my own pitas and focaccia...will keep ya posted, as per usual.
Wednesday, February 17, 2010
Fun Outside The House
Quick update because I have got to go to bed. Sleeeepy. Captain Adorable and I have been getting out of the house and into the car and going places to have fun this week. Amazing, the power of a car, a tank full of gas, and friends to hang out with! Also a little tiring, but in a good way.
Tomorrow the plan is to work on shoveling the sidewalk in front of our house (even if I do not actually get much done, Capt. Adorable will enjoy himself) while the cleaning lady is here (she didn't come last week because of the snow, so we need her. She will have a bit less than usual to do since the family room is still in process and the dining room is so full of furniture she cannot begin to vacuum in there, but that's ok. Then I'll bake the bread I set to rise this afternoon, and then maybe we will go to the local Olympic swim center...or the indoor play area at the local mall...we will see. Also have to pop by the library and drop off a book that has been due since Jan 19!!!! Aaaah!
Next week Capt. Obvious is off to Portland, OR. We will miss him, but thankfully, Oma (or, as Capt. Adorable says, Ama) is coming to stay for a few days. This will be the first time I've had a visit with her while NOT being on chemo or recovering from surgery in 2 and half years, so I am really looking forward to hanging out! I hope to be able to explore some local attractions with her and have even been considering arranging a grandma play date (hehe) with Non-Fiction's mama. I think they'd have a nice time together. We will see.
Tomorrow the plan is to work on shoveling the sidewalk in front of our house (even if I do not actually get much done, Capt. Adorable will enjoy himself) while the cleaning lady is here (she didn't come last week because of the snow, so we need her. She will have a bit less than usual to do since the family room is still in process and the dining room is so full of furniture she cannot begin to vacuum in there, but that's ok. Then I'll bake the bread I set to rise this afternoon, and then maybe we will go to the local Olympic swim center...or the indoor play area at the local mall...we will see. Also have to pop by the library and drop off a book that has been due since Jan 19!!!! Aaaah!
Next week Capt. Obvious is off to Portland, OR. We will miss him, but thankfully, Oma (or, as Capt. Adorable says, Ama) is coming to stay for a few days. This will be the first time I've had a visit with her while NOT being on chemo or recovering from surgery in 2 and half years, so I am really looking forward to hanging out! I hope to be able to explore some local attractions with her and have even been considering arranging a grandma play date (hehe) with Non-Fiction's mama. I think they'd have a nice time together. We will see.
Saturday, February 13, 2010
Moving On
To other aspects of life. :)
The snow is still outside and it has been cramping our style for quite a long time now. We've gone sledding so many times it is boring. The driveway has been shoveled. The bird feeders have been filled. The Captains even built/dug what they call an ice cave in the snow bank that borders one side of the driveway. But wow, getting the little one all dressed up to go out is rather a bother! And if we go out twice a day, that's 5-6 pairs of pants in the wash (he refuses to re-wear them after they've gotten wet, even when once they are dry again!) since we put 2 pairs of pants on him every time we go out to keep him warm. At this point we can't go to the play ground since it is covered in 2-3 feet of snow and we can't even take a walk since the sidewalks are all snowed under (no we haven't dug ours out either!) but one lane of the road if clear and people are driving fast on it now so it is dangerous to go for a walk with the little one.
Poor Captain Adorable is starved for the company of other children. On the other hand, Captain Obvious has been home for work because of the snow and as a result we've gotten to spend quite a lot of time together here in our new house. In fact, we've spent so much time here relaxing that Captain Obvious has found some serious motivation and has made me very happy by beginning some cosmetic renovations on the family room (with kitchen soon to follow). Yesterday he installed a utility sink in the basement, giving us a proper place to clean up after painting. We moved everything out of there and Capt. Obvious put down tarps and put up plastic sheeting to protect the rest of the house from the dust being created in there. Where is all the dust coming from? Well, he's discovered that it is not too hard to scrape the textured ceilings down some! They are not totally flat and smooth but they look much, much better than they do right now!
We're also planning to paint; the walls, the ceiling, and the trim. We realised today that the ceiling is actually painted light beige, so a nice white ceiling will help to lighten the room considerably. Plus he managed to remove the heavy, dark (sloppy) built-ins on either side of the fire place. I am so happy! Amazing what a little cosmetic adjustment can do.
The good news for Captain Adorable is that next week we are expecting a visit from Ms. Resourceful and her children, as well as a visit to some other friends. Maybe the week after we'll get to the train museum...and then Oma will be here (although Daddy will be away again, boohoo). So we've got a lot to look forward to. We've had fun making valentines together over the last few days. Just popped them in the mailbox today, so they won't go out till Monday, sorry!
The snow is still outside and it has been cramping our style for quite a long time now. We've gone sledding so many times it is boring. The driveway has been shoveled. The bird feeders have been filled. The Captains even built/dug what they call an ice cave in the snow bank that borders one side of the driveway. But wow, getting the little one all dressed up to go out is rather a bother! And if we go out twice a day, that's 5-6 pairs of pants in the wash (he refuses to re-wear them after they've gotten wet, even when once they are dry again!) since we put 2 pairs of pants on him every time we go out to keep him warm. At this point we can't go to the play ground since it is covered in 2-3 feet of snow and we can't even take a walk since the sidewalks are all snowed under (no we haven't dug ours out either!) but one lane of the road if clear and people are driving fast on it now so it is dangerous to go for a walk with the little one.
Poor Captain Adorable is starved for the company of other children. On the other hand, Captain Obvious has been home for work because of the snow and as a result we've gotten to spend quite a lot of time together here in our new house. In fact, we've spent so much time here relaxing that Captain Obvious has found some serious motivation and has made me very happy by beginning some cosmetic renovations on the family room (with kitchen soon to follow). Yesterday he installed a utility sink in the basement, giving us a proper place to clean up after painting. We moved everything out of there and Capt. Obvious put down tarps and put up plastic sheeting to protect the rest of the house from the dust being created in there. Where is all the dust coming from? Well, he's discovered that it is not too hard to scrape the textured ceilings down some! They are not totally flat and smooth but they look much, much better than they do right now!
We're also planning to paint; the walls, the ceiling, and the trim. We realised today that the ceiling is actually painted light beige, so a nice white ceiling will help to lighten the room considerably. Plus he managed to remove the heavy, dark (sloppy) built-ins on either side of the fire place. I am so happy! Amazing what a little cosmetic adjustment can do.
The good news for Captain Adorable is that next week we are expecting a visit from Ms. Resourceful and her children, as well as a visit to some other friends. Maybe the week after we'll get to the train museum...and then Oma will be here (although Daddy will be away again, boohoo). So we've got a lot to look forward to. We've had fun making valentines together over the last few days. Just popped them in the mailbox today, so they won't go out till Monday, sorry!
Wednesday, February 10, 2010
What I Fear, What I Want
I am NOT afraid of no longer being a patient!!!
1) Being a patient sucks and I would be happy to stop!
2) I am still a patient. I am not going to be saying goodbye to hospitals and doctors for quite a while. In fact, my next appointment with my oncologist is scheduled for May 5. About 3 months from now. Not that long! I will have a CT scan on that day, so I will get to go through the whole pre-med routine (prenisone, blah) and I get to have an IV (oh yay).
3) I am planning to do a couple of clinical trials at NCI in the upcoming months. I've not written about them because I do not have much information to share. They are both immunological trials. Yeah, I'd get a vaccine against cancer. Very proactive.
4) Who knows if the cancer will stay gone. It could be that I have to start chemo again after the results of my CT scan in May.
I AM afraid of:
1) What's next. Get a job? This is a terrible economy. I have plenty of education but not much recent experience. Brush up my resume? What am I even qualified for? How much energy should I even put into this, seeing as I am still really in treatment and there is a good chance that the cancer could come back.
2) Leaving my darling Captain Adorable.
I WANT to:
1) Be with my son and my family as much as possible. I have lots of plans for playing with the alphabet, some science (specifically: botany), music, gymnastics, and hopefully a trip to Tennessee.
2) Rest and heal. I am less than 6 weeks out from major surgery right now. I get winded quite easily. I need time to heal. I am less than 3 months from chemo. I still have side effects from that. (My side effects include: neuropathy, gasterointestinal problems, very dry skin, lack of libido, high stress level which results in exhaustion, insomnia, teeth grinding, and head aches.) I need time to heal from chemo as well.
This journey is far from over. This is not the end of my cancer fight, nor is it the end of this blog. ;)
1) Being a patient sucks and I would be happy to stop!
2) I am still a patient. I am not going to be saying goodbye to hospitals and doctors for quite a while. In fact, my next appointment with my oncologist is scheduled for May 5. About 3 months from now. Not that long! I will have a CT scan on that day, so I will get to go through the whole pre-med routine (prenisone, blah) and I get to have an IV (oh yay).
3) I am planning to do a couple of clinical trials at NCI in the upcoming months. I've not written about them because I do not have much information to share. They are both immunological trials. Yeah, I'd get a vaccine against cancer. Very proactive.
4) Who knows if the cancer will stay gone. It could be that I have to start chemo again after the results of my CT scan in May.
I AM afraid of:
1) What's next. Get a job? This is a terrible economy. I have plenty of education but not much recent experience. Brush up my resume? What am I even qualified for? How much energy should I even put into this, seeing as I am still really in treatment and there is a good chance that the cancer could come back.
2) Leaving my darling Captain Adorable.
I WANT to:
1) Be with my son and my family as much as possible. I have lots of plans for playing with the alphabet, some science (specifically: botany), music, gymnastics, and hopefully a trip to Tennessee.
2) Rest and heal. I am less than 6 weeks out from major surgery right now. I get winded quite easily. I need time to heal. I am less than 3 months from chemo. I still have side effects from that. (My side effects include: neuropathy, gasterointestinal problems, very dry skin, lack of libido, high stress level which results in exhaustion, insomnia, teeth grinding, and head aches.) I need time to heal from chemo as well.
This journey is far from over. This is not the end of my cancer fight, nor is it the end of this blog. ;)
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)