Next CT in Six Months

The news is: the CT scan yesterday was clear, according to the preliminary report. I will get the full report in a few days along with a CD containing my scan. I order one every time so that if I ever need to send it off to some other medical facility it will be easy for me to accomplish.

It was a stressful day, yesterday. The effects of the prednisone (makes me eat more, sleep less, and be super emotional and aggressive--everything becomes an emergency to me) make an already stressful situation much harder.

For example: I had gotten confused about the appointment time and arrived 2 hours early. This made me stressed out as it was very important to me and to Captain Adorable that I was on time to pick him up from camp (and not have him go to after-care). I ended up having to just let Captain Obvious deal with the issue because I was way too wound up about it, even breaking into tears in the lobby. Fortunately everything worked out.

Next time I go for a scan I will have a new doctor (new fellow). Which is good. I give myself a gold star everytime I out last a fellow. This new one will be my fourth.

Along with my happiness there is also sadness and loss. I still long for another child. Sometimes the feeling fades and sometimes it comes rushing back, large and in color. Yesterday it came back. Today I am recovering. For the next few days I am recovering... Why is it that, when I have so much, when I am so rich, so lucky, with a full life and a full heart and the best possible outcome I could have imagined, surrounded and supported by my beloved family and dear friends, why do I still yearn for this child who does not exist?

First Week of Summer Vacation 2013

Captain Adorable is no longer a kindergartener; the last day of school was on June 14. This last week, his first week of summer vacation has been fun. Its been good getting used to having him with me all the time again, though there have been a few moments of frustration for me and boredom for him because of trying to balance my new work obligations with his desire to be entertained. I want to be with him and play and read and go for adventures all day long, but I had clients to meet, so preparation work before, and follow up work after. I'm making it sound like a big deal, but it wasn't that bad. At home, he played with his legos more than ever before (and did a few experiments with them, including freezing a bunch of lego guys together!) and looked at things through his microscope. He wrote in his journal several times. I took him on several adventures, including swimming at the neighbor's pool, to a walking and biking (5.74 miles!) at a large local park, and of course the three of us went sailing last night--a moonlight sail to look at the supermoon.

Here are photos of a few of the adventures this week.

Frozen lego guys

Dip in the pool

Walk by the water in the park

Supermoon rising over the water as sun sets 

Wind, waves, and supermoon

Just when I've gotten used to being together with my smart, funny, creative, sweet boy, he's off to day camp next week. I'll miss him but I'll get a bunch of work done and I'll exercise everyday!

Craters on the Moon

Last weekend we sailed to the the Rhode River to anchor and spend the night. It was a beautiful day--and lovely weather. The sky was blue and the wind was good. The three of us were together. We saw an osprey carrying a fish in its talons. We looked for jellyfish and saw none. We counted cargo ships anchored in the Bay. I asked Captain Adorable if he could see the moon. He replied, "Yes, I see it. I see craters. They are very small, but on the moon they are very large."

My next CT scan is on Wednesday. As I get closer to it, I wonder if it will turn out to be a small crater or a large one.

My Very Own Law Firm

For a while now I've been moving towards working for pay outside the home. My chosen profession, as you know, is practicing law. For the past few months, I've been doing pro bono work through a couple of local charities to get a taste for how to juggle work and personal life, and have found the adjustment to be challenging but doable.

On Monday, June 3, 2013 I opened my very own law firm. This is wonderful and exciting and scary too. Despite the fact that I am working out of our house for now, starting a law firm requires a large outlay of money up front, and there are no paying clients yet. These are early days...I have clear goals and many hopes for my firm.

My main goal is to have a fulfilling job that allows me to make a difference in the world and at the same time be present and available for Captain Adorable (I figure Captain Obvious can mostly take care of himself at this point haha).

In other news, Captain Adorable played lacrosse this spring, and despite him being one of the youngest on the team (he's only in kindergarten after all), he was invited to represent our sports organization as a member of a team that travelled to a tournament in another county. The tournament team he was on played very well and won both of their games by a solid margin (there is no official score keeping).

There is one more week of school after this one, and then he will be finished with kindergarten. Summer stretches out before us with the promise of swimming pools, sailing, camp, a trip to Oma and Opa's house, and playing outside with friends. Too bad he's sick right now! Yet another nasal infection that turned into an ear infection, ugh. This infection had a result we've not seen in the previous ones--the pressure in his ear got so bad the eardrum was perforated. It hurt him quite a lot! :( He missed two days of school already this week but (fingers crossed) tomorrow he can attend, which makes us both happy.