Tuesday, June 30, 2009

Going Camping

We are going camping tonight! Yay! We're going up to western Maryland to a place where we always go. A primitive camp site back in the woods but you can still drive your vehicle up to the campsite, which makes it possible to bring many comforts that one could not carry. I like car camping. :)

I am looking forward to the three of us sleeping in our big old tent on 3 thermarests all next to each other. I can't wait for Capt. Adorable to ride his balance bike up and down the gravel road. I am eager to see the light in his eyes when he sees the campfire. And of course the bedtime/night cuddling is always welcome!

Last night I failed to turn on the monitor. Bad mama! I went downstairs with Captain Obvious (we live in a town house, so going downstairs to the den puts me two flights of stairs away from my little one) and suddenly, at a little before 10, I heard crying. Loud, desperate crying. I RAN up the stairs, and Capt. Obvious ran too and we both arrived in the living room at the same time. There at the top of the stairs was Capt. Adorable, crying loudly with tears streaming down his face. He was very tired, and was able to calm down quickly and go back to sleep as soon as I got in bed with him. He probably woke up, found himself alone and no one was responding to the little noises he makes (because SOMEONE forgot to turn on the monitor) and felt totally abandoned. Well, while we are camping there is no need for a monitor! I'll post when we get back. Perhaps with a pic or two.

Tuesday, June 23, 2009

Public Service Announcement

If you call yourself a vegetarian and you eat fish, you are calling yourself by the wrong name. Vegetarians do not eat meat. Fish are animals. Their flesh is not a vegetable. It is meat.

Better and Better

Wow this chemo break is so nice! I am feeling better and better. I don't need to take a nap everyday anymore, and while I often go to bed with Captain Adorable, I can also stay up with Captain Obvious from time to time. Which he likes. :)

It has been a little more demanding on me than usual since Captain Obvious has only been home for 5 days out of the last 2.5 weeks, and those were all work days (so no break for me on the weekend). This week he is at a meeting in DC so he has to get up and leave pretty early because of the extra travel time, so we don't even see him till he comes home for dinner. Poor Capt. Adorable has cried many times for his Daddy ("Daddy come home" sobbed into your shoulder/neck will break your heart!). However, I am not really complaining since Capt. Adorable is getting a bit easier to care for by myself. His language is so good that it is easier to figure out what he wants, which makes it easier to care for.

Sigh. He also wants to wear undies (not pull ups) but he still poops in his undies (or diaper, whatever he is wearing at the time). I guess I don't really mind poop in the diaper (though it is gross). However, I do mind poop in undies. I just can't clean anymore poop out of undies. I can't get it on my hands anymore. I can't smell the smell of hot water on poopy undies. I wash my hands twice after one of those and my hands still smell of his poop. I hate it. Twice in a row now when he has pooped in his undies, I just cut them off him and throw them out. We're not going to put undies on that little one for a week or so...or until I see him pooping in the potty!!! I know that wearing undies is much more conducive to potty training than wearing diapers (even pull ups) but he is pretty on target with peeing in the potty (except that he knows it is ok to pee in a diaper...) and I do not mind cleaning up pee undies, since wet undies are a learning tool to teach awareness of wet, but the poop undies do not seem to teach anything except for requiring me to control my temper. I would like for him to wear undies all the time. I know that the diapers are far less comfortable than undies, and Capt. Adorable has complained that the diapers are too hot, and that they hurt his legs. I believe every word, but I am still not willing to clean poop out of undies.

I've been enjoying the complany of friends more and more lately. It sure is nice to feel good enough to leave the house and go on little adventures/outings with Capt. Adorable. I like to see him playing/interacting with other kids. We go out everyday, actually. For the last 3 days in a row he has refused to nap, and has not been so super tough to handle as he was in the past...I hope the nap will still occur from time to time. He is so beautiful when he sleeps...and on those occasions when he wants to cuddle me/fall asleep in my arms are precious and wonderful. I hope I will always remember the feel of his little toddler body (big belly and all) cuddled up against my side as we fall asleep together because I feel him growing up and moving away from cuddling Mommy already!

Don't know when I am supposed to start chemo again. I hope I have another month off to heal and hang out with my sweet little one.

Sunday, June 7, 2009

Playing and Joking

Captain Adorable loves tools and construction vehicles (like bulldozers, excavators, etc.). He has a toy bull dozer and excavator, more than one dump truck, and a couple of front loaders. He plays with them a lot, and would love it if I would allow the sandy ones into the house. Actually, this morning he brought his large wooden dump truck into our bed! When told that trucks were not allowed in the bad, he just took it into his bed, which did satisfy me. How my standards have changed! In not-too-distant past, I kept the bed as a sanctuary of cleanliness. Now I'm happy if there is no sand or pee in it! :) Right now he is playing with his saw, a weird looking thing that was put together with wooden pieces and screws from his tool box. He plays with it often, which is pretty cool. He makes very authentic saw noises when using it.

The other day Captain Adorable made a very funny joke, at my expense. :) I thought it was hilarious, so I am going to record it here. It was a rainy day, so we went to the big mall where they have the big aquarium with the big fish. While we were walking around, I noticed some really cute shirts in a store window, so I took us in there for a little shopping. Captain Adorable is not a cooperative shopper, and complains loudly at being shut in a dressing room with me, which makes it hard to try on or evaluate clothes. So, the first dressing room we go in, he says it stinks, so I tell him he can chose the dressing room. We have to go check out all the dressing rooms (I have the stroller, an armful of clothes, and I am trying to herd my son, so not the easiest walk around the place). He finally settles on a dressing room next to someone else (not what I would have chosen). The whole time I am trying on clothes, he's keeping up a commentary about how the place stinks, and he tries to open the door to leave, and finally he's lying on the floor, head and shoulders out of the dressing room, the rest of his cute little self directly in my way...

Finally he stands up and tells me "stinks in here." I ask him "what stinks, honey?" He gets a big smile on his face and points and says, "Mama's butt."

It was definitely loud enough for our neighbor t0o hear...I thought it was hilarious, though, and cracked up!

Thursday, June 4, 2009

Big News: Chemo Break

I have been so miserable and tired and sick that my oncologist suggested and I eagerly agreed to taking a break from chemo! Could be 2 months or even as long as 4 months. My most recent CT scan shows no growth again, so this is good news and is also supportive of taking a break now instead of continuing for another 2 cycles (for a total of 6, I've completed 4 so far). I am not even close to being my normal self yet, but the thought that I do not have chemo tomorrow is WONDERFUL! I think if I had to go to chemo tomorrow, I would die.

Instead I can now look forward to feeling better (and maybe finally getting rid of this diarhea) and better for a while. I can look forward to hot sweaty days at the sand pit with Captain Adorable, and maybe a Fourth of July party, and of course a trip to Tennessee to visit Oma and Opa.

In other news, yesterday Captain Adorable requested undies instead of a diaper and got it. He did every pee and poop in the potty! Today he also asked for undies (because they are "nice and soft") and he got alllllmost every pee in the potty...and there has been no poop, so I cannot say what would have happened there. We will see what happens.

Next week Captain Obvious has to be out of town, so the little one and I will be alone. I have the mother's helper coming in the afternoons, so at least I can be assured of a nap everyday. I am, as usual, getting out to do some activity or other every morning, then spending the afternoon napping/snacking/playing. Perhaps while Daddy is gone I should plan an activity for that between getting home time and bedtime that I complained about in the past. Hmmm.

Today was a rainy day, so we ditched our plans to go to the sandpit to meet some friends, and instead joined up with everyone at a local mall where there is a carousel. Three mommies, two 2 year olds, one 3 year old, and two babies under 10 months. :) After our ride, we went to the pet store (you should adopt your pets from a shelter, or buy from a reputable breeder, not a pet store, in my opinion, but never mind the lecture) and had a look at the bunnies and puppies and birds. Then both 2 year olds decided to push their strollers instead of ride in them, but we managed to get to the other side of the mall to the indoor play area, which was crowded but with appropriately-sized kids, so it was ok for a while. Then lunch in the food court (thoroughly unhealthy!), then home...good, simple fun. I laughed, I heard good stories from my friends, I got to observe the children and the way they interact with the world, the mall, and each other.

Captain Adorable is doing a bit of pushing and grabbing lately, and I find it excrutiatingly embarassing but don't know what to do other then I already do, which is immediately correct my son, firmly explain that hitting hurts, we don't hit, and demand that he apologise to the other child. If he does not apologise to the child, I do. On the other hand, I also see other children push him, and their parents do not come running (and neither do I). Sigh. I'm pretty sure that hanging around with other kids will soon teach him that pushing and hitting does not make friends.