Last Push

My beloved captains left this afternoon and won't be back till tomorrow evening to give me One Last Undisturbed Study Push. I studied from 10 am till 8 pm today, with approximately 1 hour and 30 minutes in breaks. I decided to stop because my brain is tired and I do not want to completly exhaust myself today since I have tomorrow to study undisturbed as well.

Blood, sweat, and tears have gone into these preparations (and not just mine): I have suffered paper cuts, ink stains on my fingers, and have sweated over a hot laptop with a hot desk lamp for hours and hours. (As Captain Obvious says, with a big fake-sad face, "Oh, the injuries of lawyers.") On a more serious note, I have cried from frustration and exhaustion. I have written and studied almost a thousand flash cards. I've attended weeks worth of classes, written dozens of practice state-law specific essays, written hours of practice practical tests (MPTs), and answered hundreds of multiple choice questions (MBEs). And of course I've spent hours debriefing them all.

I have asked for a lot and received even more support from so many people in my life. My darling brave boy has had a tough summer, going 10 weeks with little-to-no mama, much to his sorrow (last night at dinner he was resting his head on my lap, telling me he had never wanted me to study so much). My super supportive husband has listened to interminable lectures on law as I learn it and complaints about the demands of the exams. My parents hosted and cared for my child for 2 weeks (though I am pretty sure they were happy to undertake that task) and of course supported me. My dear friends have obliged me with opportunity for periodic much-needed non-study, non-exam-related interaction and have helped me by taking care of my little guy now and then.

Tomorrow is Saturday. I will completely immerse myself in study from the time I get up till my captains come home. My bar prep course recommends that I take Sunday completely off and limit myself to three hours of study on Monday (that will be hard). I sit for the exam on Tuesday and Wednesday. I have been working hard for weeks to prepare for this exam. I have poured time and effort into this. Of course there is always the worry that my performance, despite all my preparations, will not measure up. But I often feel confident, too. My plan is to pass this time! Goodness knows I'm working as hard as I can to achieve that...