Tuesday, April 8, 2008

Looks Like Bad News and More Waiting

The oncologist called last night while I was cooking dinner. It turns out the mucocinous variant of adenocarcinoma, which is what I have, does not take up glucose. Therefore it will not light up on a PET scan. Therefore the fact that the nodules did not light up means nothing. It might have meant something if I had had a PET scan prior to surgery and that cancer had lit up, but I did not have one (my decision) and so we do not know if these nodules are cancerous or not. But it looks like they are. Nodules don't just form and grow in your lungs for no reason and if you already have lung cancer, well, it seems fairly obvious what the conclusion is. They're probably cancer.

So, as of right now, I am going to wait 3 months and then have another CT scan (which was my normally scheduled time for another one anyhow). At that time we will decide whether to have surgery or some other intervention. Will probably need a biopsy.

Not surprisingly, I feel worried and sad, but, surprisingly, I did not cry. Capt. Obvious cried and left to go buy some wine almost immediately after the phone call.

In other not so great news, Captain Adorable did not gain any weight since his last appointment 6 weeks ago. I believe that if he was still getting breast milk he would not be having this problem and I feel (I know I use this word a lot) robbed. If only I could have been breast feeding him all these months. We would not have the drinking problem (getting a bit better now...maybe...he certainly does not drink anywhere near what I would like him to!) and we would not have this gaining weight problem. Damn cancer is hurting me and hurting my beautiful little son. Damn fucking cancer.

7 comments:

Lance Noe said...

Damn fucking cancer, INDEED!

mumamarie said...

oh mama--that is so hard. sending so much love and prayers your way...
mdc mama krismarie

MAMEFATIMDC said...

Thinking of you.

Anonymous said...

Amen!

I hope that your sweet boy is back on track very soon.

Kathleen

simone said...

couldn't have said it better ... damn fucking cancer.

(hugs)

simone said...

couldn't have said it better ... damn fucking cancer.

(hugs)

Anonymous said...

prayers mama. :(