Respect and Accept

Recently a friend of mine called to tell me some news which made me think, again, about helping others with cancer. She called to tell me that her mother had just been diagnosed with stage IV lung cancer. She was calling to talk, mainly; to confide in and ask for help from the one person who would understand. At first of course I recommended second opinions and not making any fast decisions. Then as I listened more to my friend, I understood that her mother would not be seeking any of that. She is one of those people who just do what the doctor says (her words).

You may remember an incident that I wrote about in this blog; I really wanted to help a young woman who had been diagnosed with colon cancer and she did not want my help. It was very difficult for me to take. I shed tears and agonized for quite a while. But this experience prompted me to change my advice to my friend and I told her that whatever happens, she must remember that this is her mother's cancer and these are her mother's decisions. Yes, she should do the research and the reading so that she can help if asked, but that she should try to accept what her mother chooses because these are her mother's choices to make. Sometimes (maybe most of the time) the most help one can give is to listen and respect, not to rush in and save the day.

(Oh, and pay for a house cleaning service. Absolutely key!)

Foyer Facelift In Progress

We have been in our new house for almost a year now (about eleven and a half months). This house needs lots of cosmetic work (the paint colors the former owners chose were all dark and dark and more dark) and some more serious stuff too, sigh but that's another story.

Since we've moved in, we have (and when I say "we," I really mean my dear dedicated Captain Obvious) been fixing and painting room by room, making it much more attractive. Right now the foyer is getting a facelift. Here is a before picture. You see both grey and white on the walls now; neither of those will be the final color. The grey is the color the previous owners chose.

 
We had the front door replaced a few months ago (water damage and also it was UGLY). Here is a photo of the old door followed by one of the new door.

Now we are working on the rest of the room. First the drippy ceiling (acoustic? patterned? I don't know what it is called, but it is not attractive!) get sanded. This does not make it completely flat, but it is flat enough. Once painted white, (it was painted beige? or was it just dirty?) the now much flatter texture is almost invisible. Because of the sanding, everyone working in the room has to wear eye, nose, and ear protection. Here's a pic of Captain Obvious after sanding; here he has removed his protective wear.

We are also removing the old tile floor and replacing it with a cork floating floor. Here is Captain Adorable in his protective gear and hard at work.

I worked on sanding the banister. Of course I was (as usual) the one holding the camera, so here's a pic of my hand.

Capt. Obvious is working hard on all the preparation required before painting the walls. (The previous owner of the house used a paint brush, not a roller, to paint the walls! and he was the sloppiest painter in the world. Nasty paint drips everywhere! The drips have to be sanded down the the dents have to be filled in.) I am working on picking out a paint color. This is very difficult since there are so many criteria that have to be accounted for. First, both adults in our family have to like it. Second, it has to go with the door and the floor. Third, it has to go with the paint of the hall, the dining room, and the playroom, since all those rooms are visible from the foyer. Fourth, it has to go well with the rooms upstairs since one of the walls of the foyer extends into the upstairs hall. So in order to pick paint for the foyer I have to pick paint for the entire house! Not an easy task. I've put a lot of thought into it already.

And no, white is not an option. :P

And yes, I am aware that I could have worse problems than picking the perfect paint color!

He Likes It

I guess I wrote about the introduction of preschool into our lives but I have not followed up yet. Captain Adorable likes preschool. He no longer complains about going to school on school days. In fact, he finds it difficult to eat breakfast because he is so excited about going! When we arrive I have trouble keeping up with him as he power walks from the car to the door of the school. He is excited to see his teacher and her assistant. He has one particular friend, but seems to like all his classmates.

I do not know whether this is related or not, but this afternoon we were outside on the porch together (beautiful weather today!) and he bgan writing letters on his chalkboard. Now, he has been writing the letter O for a loooong time (O is for Opa!), but he has never written any others. Today he wrote a T, then summoned me to have a look. While I stood next to him, he quickly wrote an O, then an H, and then an X! And also the number 1! Could this be something they are doing in school? If so, COOL!

Help From A Friend

Under the down comforter, I cannot sleep.

I can and do think of many people and events. I review things I should not review because I need to sleep. I listen to my son snore from his room, which adjoins mine; the french doors between are always open. My husband sleeps alone in the guest room, both to avoid my snot-induced snores and to spare me his. Yet without his comfortable slow breathing I cannot fall asleep.

I stick my hand out from under the covers and brush my index and middle fingers together. A faint sound in our big house. I am calling my friend, my big furry cat Trout. A few minutes wait and he jumps onto the bed. He seems a bit grumpy; has probably been woken up by my call, quieter than a whisper though it was. And my dear cat lies down next to me and purrs.

And purrs. And purrs.

His purr is a delicate silken courderouy. The sound is accompanied by a barely perceptible (or perhaps imagined?) vibration through the mattress, the touch calming me. A sound to calm and comfort me. I melt into sleep.

So (Not) Romantic

At dinner this evening, Capt. Obvious asked Capt. Adorable if he knew what tomorrow was. Of course Capt. Adorable did not know, so Capt. Obvious explained that tomorrow is our eighth wedding anniversary. I think he said something like, "tomorrow is the day Mommy and I got married eight years ago." Capt. Adorable responded, "What is married?" Capt. Obvious' replied, "Married is when Mommy and I decided to be legally bounded (I think he meant bonded?) to one another and the take advantage of the tax benefits." While I was rolling my eyes Capt. Adorable asked where he was and I was able to inject some love into the conversation by telling him, "you were in my heart and in Daddy's heart."

Well, I suppose he was trying to be romantic. Just didn't exactly translate... :)

Fun and Educational

I've written a few times about how I'd like to home school my son. While my plans may have changed somewhat, (you have probably noticed, haha, that we are sending him to preschool), I am still committed to home schooling...or, teaching him at home in addition to what he might learn in school. Or, to look at it another way: doing fun stuff together which is also educational. Of course, as you know from reading this blog, I take my son to many places; I try to provide a wide variety of fun and educational activities outside the home. But you may not know that I do a lot of projects with him on those days we do stay home all day (or a quiet inside activity in place of a nap or television). In my opinion, pretty much anything we do is a learning experience for Capt. Adorable! Here are some pics of a few of the things we've done together recently.

Toy zip line.

Boiling sunflower petals to make natural dye for homemade playdough.

Boiling pine needles to dye playdough

Kneading the sunflower dyed batch of home made playdough.

More kneading

L to R: dyed with oak bark, pine needles, and sunflower petals. Oak worked best.

And yesterday we made this together:

Two story toy house made of shoe boxes. Complete with ramp for accessing second floor!

Very pleased boy and just completed toy house.

I have not included pics of the milk carton boat (which really worked!) or the milk carton bird house (which we are still working on, sigh). Nor have I pictured any of the many, many paintings, drawings and collages Captain Adorable makes. I so enjoy doing these things with him! Many props and thanks to the wonderful blogs where I got the ideas for the naturally dyed play dough and the toy zip line.

Preschool Again

On Tuesday Capt. Adorable was dropped off and picked up at preschool by Capt. Obvious. According to the Daddy, the whole situation was fine and went just smoothly. The boy was disappointed that I was leaving for the day (I was on my way to an event in DC) but raised no real objections to preschool.

This morning (Thursday) however, when he found out that today was a school day, he immediately started saying that he was sick and could not go to school. I asked, "what if I told you we were going to Port Discovery instead?" and of course the stomach ache and the sickness immediately disappeared. When I told him that today was indeed a school day suddenly he was sick again. Now, he did have a very snotty nose (and has had for a few days now) but no fever. I think it is allergies--more about that later.

In the car when we arrived he asked me to go downstairs to watch him play. I said no and worried why he wanted me to be with him still. However, once at school this morning he was happy and barely said goodbye to me. He opened his backpack (which he packs full of stuff) to show the teacher what was inside before he even went in to school! He clearly enjoys himself at school, so why is he so reluctant to go? And so reluctant to admit he likes it?

My brother and his wife were visiting for the last few days. Although they are expecting a child, they do not have any now and my darling boy was definitely swept to the side (or shall I say, plain old ignored) more often than not. I think this may have increased his need for mama love. His behavior has been crazy at times and has resulted in a lot of discussions and twice I've felt the need to leave a location as a result of misbehavior on his part. Or is it the preschool? Sigh. I just want to support him and make him happy and confident.

I have to go pick him up now. Qucikly I will add that I gave him allergy medicene this morning just to see if it would make him stop sneezing and snotting. He was much less snotty by the time we got to school; I wonder how it will be when I pick him up.