Wednesday, February 6, 2008

Back From Florida

We got back from Florida last night. It was very relaxing to be there. I love having Captain Obvious with me all the time (instead of missing him all day while he is at work), the weather was mild and wonderful, and Captain Obvious' aunt (we will call her Didi) and Captain Adorable made friends. The airplane rides there and back were not bad--Captain Adorable is such a cooperative little guy.

Didi is so sensitive to the needs of small children--she is enthusiastic and makes him laugh and she is also quiet sometimes, not providing constant stimulation but letting him set the pace and explore on his own. I felt comfortable enough to leave Captain Adorable in her care twice (in his entire life, he has never been cared for by anyone other than me, Captain Obvious, or my Mom before!). The first time I left Captain Adorable with Didi when Captain Obvious took me out to the ocean on the wave runner (and did not go too fast and all that--it was nice) and for the second time so that he and I could go out to dinner. The first time went very well and Capt. Adorable even napped while we were gone for a bit over an hour. The second time we were gone for an hour and a half, but we did not get back till 8:00 and Capt. Adorable was tired and was crying (Didi said he had been crying for about 20 minutes!) when we got back. She was just taking him for a walk in the back yard to see if that would help him calm down (probably would have worked), but I was really glad we got back when we did and wished we had come back sooner of course. Still, the next day Capt. Adorable loved Didi again, so obviously all was well. It is a big deal that I was able to trust someone enough to leave

It was great to go to the beach (almost) everyday while we were there. I love watching Capt. Adorable on the beach. He enthusiastically stuffs sand in his mouth, though! He ate so much sand that his poops were sandy! He had a great time in the water, too. In fact, Capt. Obvious was holding him in the water and he was happily giggling and gooing until we noticed his lips were turning blue. We took him in to the warm sand and they turned pink again quickly enough, but it was cute that he was so happy despite being cold.

I've been feeling sad lately. I wish I knew more about my chances of survival. The statistics are so oppressive and it is so easy for me to get caught up in their implications. I start to wonder if I should write birthday letters for Capt. Adorable since I am going to die (or it seems that way, anyway). Maybe this blog is for Capt. Adorable, so he will read this when I die and know how much I loved him and how important he was in my life. My longed-for and long-awaited baby boy...


smeffletop said...

Well, I for one am praying you recover fully and live a long life...but if the unthinkable were to happen, this blog is an amazing way to pass on your love to that little boy...Just the "day to day" "matter of fact" way you write your love of him in here would be a greater gift than any I can think of...Tammy

ps...I live in Fort Myers, FL =)

Bellejar said...

I just want to send you some cyber hugs. I hope you defy all statistics (someone has to statistically).