Wednesday, October 24, 2007

Hunting the Elusive Nap

Getting Capt. Adorable to take a nap without nursing is elusive as always. That pacifier only worked that one time that I described in a previous post. Walking works sometimes (it did this morning) but other times not (yesterday morning it did not). I went for a drive with him on Monday morning to get him to nap and I drove over 50 miles! (Must have been like $5.00 worth of gas--can't do that every day!) The afternoon nap is still easy because I am still nurse him once per day...but that nursing gets cut at the end of this week, so things are about to become really difficult. I guess I could go for two 90 minute walks per day, but it would be difficult to get anything else done and it would also be rather demanding physically. I just don't know how to give my baby the comfort he needs to drift off to sleep without nursing him.

This afternoon he wanted to nurse again at about 5:30 or so. He climbed into my arms, moaning, and rubbed his face up against my d├ęcolletage. He touched me with his little fingers, dragged his sharp little nails across my skin and moaned/cried. If I did not already know what he wanted, I could not possibly have ignored/misunderstood these very clear requests. I cried. But I had to stop, and quickly, because I knew I needed to help my son to deal with the sorrow of not nursing and allowing myself to cry was not going to help him.

Last night Capt. Adorable did something for the first time ever. :) Here's the story. Because that one success with the pacifier has made me hope that a pacifier can help us in the future, I've been trying to introduce it in non-stressful situations. I even have it around when nursing is available. Sometimes we play this game which starts out with me putting it my mouth. Capt. Adorable thinks that is funny and pulls it out and sticks it in his mouth (not necessarily the nipple part...). Then I get it again and stick it in my mouth, and he pulls it back out, et cetera. Last night I was putting the babe to bed (which means he could nurse) but he was crawling around the bed still awake, like he does almost every night. I offered him the pacifier. With a big smile on his face, he started wapping me in the cheek with it, which confused me until I realized he wanted to play our game. So, I put it in my mouth and sure enough, he pulled it out. How cool! We were playing our game and the baby initiated it! Plus, it was the first time he offered me something. :)

Tomorrow I am going to the midwife for my 6-month post-partum check up (too bad that my baby's 9 and a half months but I've been a little busy since May with bar and lung tumor and all). The travel to and from and the appointment time itself encompass Capt. Adorable's one nursing. I don't really know what to do about that...I guess I will just break the rules and nurse him a bit before, some during, and some after...nice for me and nice for the babe, but maybe bad for weaning??? Oh golly golly golly I wish I did not have to wean my little love.

I tried to post a couple of pics on Sunday night but stupid google had a systems error. I will try again later this week.

We're going to M.D. Anderson for a second opinion next week.

1 comment:

Chloe Haney said...

Oh... mama. Hugs! I'm visiting from MDC where I saw your blog and just wanted to say how sorry I am that you are going through this. So difficult. Your blog brought me to tears. Prayers coming your way from me...