Monday, August 11, 2008

I Was Not Prepared

for the bad news we received today.

There are now 3 tumors in my right lung. I don't remember the particulars because my fear and sorrow blasted them out of my head, but last CT there was only one tumor. This time there are 3 and the biggest one is 1.6 cm.

The oncologist said my options are as follows:

- Stop all treatment
- Keep taking Tarceva but add Avastin
- Chemotherapy (would be at least 6 months of chemo--a different (harder) regimen than last time)
- Pursue a clinical trial--perhaps a vaccine. She mentioned one at NCI in Bethesda, MD and one in Miami.

There were a lot of tears. I am sure that more will flow. We're trying to get me an appointment at MD Anderson for a second opinion. Right now I am planning to change nothing until after our Hawaii trip.

I would like to make it to 50. That's only 16 years away. Captain Adorable won't even be 18, but he will have had me for his entire childhood and his formative years. Barring that, I would really like to live long enough to teach him to read.

13 comments:

Amy said...

Oh mama, a million hugs. :( I hope one of the treatments turns out to be "the one" and you live to see you baby grow up.((((((hugs)))))

Bellejar said...

I am really sorry to hear this news, keep fighting.

Amina said...

just missed you on the chat as I went to read the blog (clog I almost wrote) when i saw your 'status change'.
Oh dear, that's not the news we needed to hear.
I hope Hawaii gives you the chance to make the right choice - so hard.
My thoughts are with you (as always) - I'll miss our chance encounters while you're away.
Hooray for parachites!
xxxxx

Anonymous said...

Definitely get more opinions. Preferably from a specialist at a highly rated hospital.

Don't let the unknown future cloud your present.

Sullivans said...

Rose I am so sorry to hear this ... my thoughts and prayers are with you.

mamefatimdc said...

Thinking of you. I know you must be so scared, but please know there are so many people keeping you close to their hearts and prayers.
Stay strong and enjoy your trip to Hawaii.

AP said...

You are all in my thoughts and prayers. This is not what any of us wanted to hear. Please keep us posted on all of the additional opinions.

Doug McCaughan said...

Never give up! There is always hope.

Anonymous said...

sending prayers and peace.
much love,
another mdc mama

Anonymous said...

I've been following your blog through the link from Bits of Myself. Thank you so much for sharing your brave journey. One more stranger here pulling for you and your family. You make me so thankful for what I've got. When you feel alone, please know that you are not.

Karen said...

I'm so sorry to hear this news. I continue to hope and pray for good results. Please continue to lean on your numerous family and friends for support and keep fighting! You've got lots of love out here from all of us. Great big cyber hug and kiss and please excuse my useless ramblings earlier today!

bitsofmyself.com said...

i'm so sorry the news isn't what you wanted to hear. i think about you and your precious family everyday and i will continue to wait with you for the new that we all want to hear. i know it is coming. much love to you, my friend.

Anonymous said...

Rose, might these be appropriate for ablation?

My mom had lung cancer & though her tumors were not appropriate for RFA (ablation) because of their location, all the research I read on it seemed really promising. Also, many lung cancer specialists in the US seem not terribly up on it for some reason, though it has become a standard therapy for liver and other cancers now.

Enormous hugs. I read your blog frequently but have not commented before ... it is evident that you are an amazing person and mom. I think all the time that this could be happening to any one of us, and that life just does not conform to our expectations and needs most of the time. I have a strong feeling that you will come through this situation as well as anyone can. Like many people you don't even know, I am thinking of you often.