Monday, February 8, 2010

Tentatively Overjoyed

Just talked to my oncologist at JHH. She said that there is currently no need for further chemo. Of course I will have to be monitored closely (meaning a CT scan every 3 months, starting May 5), but the really big news is I am in remission.

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I greeted this news with tears. Not of happiness, surprisingly enough, but of fear. Fear of how my life will change. Fear of new obligations and changing status. I find this a little strange, but Captain Obvious pointed out to me that for the last two-and-a-half years I've put all my energy into fighting this, surviving during the fight, and taking care of my family. It is difficult to imagine an existence in which I will have a job other than being a patient. Yeah, I'm fucking crazy.

I can't say goodbye to hospitals and IVs and drugs for quite a while yet...but the idea of never doing chemo again is making its way into my brain and it feels wonderful.

12 comments:

Adam and Olivia said...

Oh, Rose! This is fantastic and amazing news! I am thrilled beyond belief for you and your family. Much love and Many blessings!

Anonymous said...

Wow that is amazing I am really very happy for you and your family. Take the news and run Rose you and your family have paid enough - breath in breath out (lol).
You are a very strong willed person and I wish I had half the guts and grace you have shown.
Debbie from Montreal

alexis224 said...

WONDERFUL!! That is just fantastic news, I am so happy for you and the Captains!! And I don't think you're crazy at all, in fact your feelings make complete sense. There's a term for that, I just can't think what it is at the moment. At any rate, we humans can get used to just about anything, and change, no matter how promising, has a healthy dose of fear that goes along with it every time. But if anyone has the courage to deal with that it's you!

Anonymous said...

So, so, SO happy for you, your parents, your husband, and best of all, your little boy!! What wonderful news. You have been amazing through this.

-- Lisa from MDC

Leia said...

Awesome news! Praying now that you can continue to embrace life with the same courage and enthusiasm that you've shown these past few years!

Diana said...

Oh sweetie I am SO HAPPY for you! I'm actually crying myself right now, with joy for you! Oh, big, BIG hugs! I love you SO MUCH! I KNEW YOU COULD DO IT!!!!

mamefati said...

HELL YEAH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Wow, you just rock!
AMAZING.
Thanks for making my day!

Amina said...

Good news indeed. Interestingly I have been hearing a lot recently about the need for care of cancer patients in remission and recovery. this feeling of being almost abandoned after having so much attention from the medics is very scary for lots of people - and probably misunderstood as 'everyone' expects you to only be jubliant. I think there are blogs on the subject.
xxxx

kristenok18 said...

Wonderful news! :D

Amy said...

I have chills and tears! Continuing to keep you and your sweet family in my thoughts!

Anonymous said...

Just checked your blog again after an extended period away. This is testament to two things: 1). sheer fighting ability and 2). the power of positive thinking. I am so, so happy for you, I can't even put it into words. Congrats, mama. Now go be with your son!! :)

simone from ub

Gina said...

I hadn't checked in on you in awhile, and this news is fantastic. Congratulations. There are so many awesome things you can do now :)