CT Scan Tomorrow

My first post-surgery CT scan is tomorrow. I am scared. That familiar fear, as I said in a previous post, is affecting me right now. Over the weekend I was going through the prescription drugs, moving from one cabinet to another, and I was 1) amazed by the quantity of drugs there and 2) suddenly sobbing. Here is a pic of what I was looking at. This does not include the drugs upstairs in the bathroom, nor does it include the prescription bottles I've emptied. You're looking at thousands of dollars worth of drugs.

 
I had to quickly stop the sorrow because my little guy was worried. He hugged me (as encouraged by his Daddy) with a very serious face and I wiped my tears and told him that I had a choice to remain sad or to be happy and that I was going to be happy. I put on some happy music and we moved on with the day. Those memories of sorrow and pain and chemo are strong, though, and sometimes it is difficult to chose happiness.

But here's what we did later that day. Ahhhh, the sound of the wind and the water. The feel of the boat beneath you. Makes me so happy.

She's on a mooring. One day (the waiting list is 4-5 years long) we'll have a slip, but until then it is row row row. Which is also kinda fun.

Happy thoughts and memories to fill my heart and carry me through the procedures tomorrow.

Look at the time. Gotta take my prednisone soon.