Wednesday, December 16, 2009

Some Thoughts About Survival

I was at the dentist's office yesterday to get my teeth cleaned. Of course it turns out I have some cavities that need to be watched and another cap in my future...This was my first visit with a new dentist (recommended by NonFiction) and I had to tell her all about cancer and chemo because when you're on chemo it freaks out medical professionals, and I end up telling them the whole story. Anyhow, while I was telling the story, I realised how amazingly lucky I am to be alive today. I have the luxury of worrying about how to pay for dental work. I have to be concerned about caring for my teeth (I don't know if you remember, but when I discovered what my odds of survival were, I told Captain Obvious I was going to stop brushing my teeth completely.I never actually did that, of course. ). I am alive and doing exactly what I want to do so much--hang out with my child, my husband, my family, and my friends.

There is bread dough rising on the counter and I will bake it for lunch tomorrow. I am making plans for February. I am not going to give any more of Captain Adorable's outgrown clothes away for a while, because I have my hope for another child...

I am astoundingly lucky.
Or breath-takingly blessed.
However you want to say it, things are going really well for me right now.

With that in mind, here's one thing about the change of surgery date. Yes, I will be at home for a few hours on January 6, 2010, which is Captain Adorable's third birthday. Yes, it is better than being in the hospital...but, but, but it is still not great. Of course it is better than just being in the hospital, but it will still be a tough one. I can just imagine it, "Hey, good morning. Here's your cake. Love ya, off to the hospital now. Bye." OK, I am being sarcastic, but I think you get my point. Better than before, but still not great. Still, I'll take it.

Don't like that nurse or her tone, though.

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